worry

9.4.20 - letters without addresses #1

Hey there, Psyche. Damn, I know it’s been forever 
Decades passed in silence, then only a shitty letter 
Though they say an asshole never really recovers 
This ass hopes you found far better friends and lovers  
Whisky brown hair, brilliant smile, the fairest blue eyes 
Sharper and brighter than all the stars in Southern skies 
Just one second, this ain't one of them pining love songs 
More a long-waiting tattered lists of souls I’ve done wrong 
One bad night, drunkenly convinced I’d been strung along 
I became another toxic creep, another entitled hard-on
Flashes of trembling hands, tears took up shop in my head  
But I blacked out enough to not remember what all I said
 When really you needed a best friend, not a jealous loser 
Instead, I walked away, wanting only to not exist to you 
It’s been years since then, paid in therapy reckonings
Took a while to learn, romance starts by looking within  
But still, what’s worse, digging up the past or living lies 
What hurts, late-offered amends or broken goodbyes 
For a victim, how long makes it too late to apologize? 
Male-privileged obsession is just intimidation in disguise  
So, years later, here’s the truth that only matters now 
The important thing I hope I one day get to say to you 
If allowed, I have random chance and courage to do 
Psyche, you deserved better than I ever gave to you  
My selfish words and actions burned our bridges 
There aren’t any good reasons you should forgive 
’Sides, justifying turns into gaslighting before long 
I’ll move along, just sorry that I hurt you. I was wrong

6.2.20 - Pandemic Poetry #1 - Better Men and Broken Kings

Stay safe in these hectic moments, loves
Sit down, wash your weary hands clean
Your tired shoulders, bloodied and battered
Choking on the pale embers from fellow men
Still gasping for air, begging, you tell stories
Desperate is the need to be heard and received
Dare us to look in the mirror’s harsh light
Reflected back, something isn’t quite right
Beaten, blackened eyes that have seen
People pleading, loving, despite our sins
Warning, crying for whomever next reads
No one wins while greed and hate prevail
Never stop hoping, never just give in
Treat each other better, make art and love
So the universe will celebrate our dreams
And deeds of Better Men and broken kings

*due to uncertainty on how to best utilize social media, I have elected to not include tags that might be needed for providing important information regarding the current crisis facing the world, but I’ll post the picture below from Atlanta, 2016. I was there and witnessed people peacefully marching for equality that has been promised for centuries yet never truly delivered. I hope we find a way through this and in the meantime, I’ll be here, listening, writing down stories. I would love to hear yours and share a few tears.

5.30.20 - Pandemic Poetry #0 - Back Porch Booms

Are you having trouble tonight?
Sitting on a tired wood porch
listening to concussive ques
Two drum beats before a fight
wondering if it’s fireworks or shots
Two horrible truths unleashed
in these burning city nights
Is it in your head, you wonder
ghosts and scars from a former life?
Is it real? The bag you pack
to bug out to the mountainside
Is it that time, or the moment to
step outside, despite the real threat
A virus that kills men in scores
Illuminating the true divide ‘tween
Left and the right, under hospital lights
I don’t know which path we’ll choose
so I listen to the crickets and booms
Watch the dog run ‘round the yard
”Lean in,” I tell you, “I figure we’re lucky.
We walk this road together. Way better
than living six thousand miles from you
We ain’t perfect, we ain’t right.
We wear the pain of disappointed lives
but I know we’ll face it together
side-by-side, guts or glory
brains or sly, I want to face it
all, with you by my side

*due to uncertainty on how to best utilize social media, I have elected to not include tags that might be needed for providing important information regarding the current crisis facing the world. In Atlanta, 2016. I was there and witnessed people peacefully marching for equality that has been promised for centuries yet never truly delivered. I hope we find a way through this and in the meantime, I’ll be here, listening, writing down stories. I would love to hear yours and share a few tears.