Hey there, Psyche. Damn, I know it’s been forever
Decades passed in silence, then only a shitty letter
Though they say an asshole never really recovers
This ass hopes you found far better friends and lovers
Whisky brown hair, brilliant smile, the fairest blue eyes
Sharper and brighter than all the stars in Southern skies
Just one second, this ain't one of them pining love songs
More a long-waiting tattered lists of souls I’ve done wrong
One bad night, drunkenly convinced I’d been strung along
I became another toxic creep, another entitled hard-on
Flashes of trembling hands, tears took up shop in my head
But I blacked out enough to not remember what all I said
When really you needed a best friend, not a jealous loser
Instead, I walked away, wanting only to not exist to you
It’s been years since then, paid in therapy reckonings
Took a while to learn, romance starts by looking within
But still, what’s worse, digging up the past or living lies
What hurts, late-offered amends or broken goodbyes
For a victim, how long makes it too late to apologize?
Male-privileged obsession is just intimidation in disguise
So, years later, here’s the truth that only matters now
The important thing I hope I one day get to say to you
If allowed, I have random chance and courage to do
Psyche, you deserved better than I ever gave to you
My selfish words and actions burned our bridges
There aren’t any good reasons you should forgive
’Sides, justifying turns into gaslighting before long
I’ll move along, just sorry that I hurt you. I was wrong
11.30.19
I worry about the future
I worry all the time
I ask if we can make it
You tell me we’ll be fine
We may not have everything
But I am yours
And you are mine
11.28.19
Love has become a curled up mess
Bundled up under all the blankets
Asleep before midnight after a week
Of mountain roads and exhaustion
Of death, decay and code-switching
Of the goodbye twenty years coming
Knowing there’d be tears from men
Who hoped they’d be neighbors again
Never forgetting what brotherhood is
Yet I’ve set the timer for every hour
Flipping an eighteen pound bird
Add cold water, empty wine glasses
Because love is simple- She Needs This
Stuffing-eating holiday so be it
Switch the code, flip the words
I’ll flip that bird every hour
If that’s all a simple man can do
To make this world all right for her